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I've done a lot of crazy things in my life. For example, I moved to Ft. Lauderdale in my early 20s with a guy who I was "like, totally for sure was the one." Of course, he wasn't. Less than a year later the whole relationship had imploded like an episode of Dynasty -- all we were missing were the shoulder pads and clouds of Aquanet.
After all of the mental "what could have beens" had been reduced to ash, I found myself miserable and marooned in Florida.
Now, I know that Florida may sound like a dream to some of you, but I am not a Florida person. I hate hot weather and one 80-degree Christmas was enough to cure me of any fond beach thoughts I might have had. More importantly, however, I was alone.
More alone than I'd ever felt in my life. With no friends or family.
So, one night, after about 20 straight days of sobbing, marathoning Sex and the City, and swearing off men forever, I realized something -- if I didn't leave right then, in that moment, I would be trapped there forever.
I spent all night packing and calling friends.
The next morning at 6 a.m., I threw everything in the back of my silver 1998 Pontiac Grand Am, cranked a well-worn CD of The Doors Greatest Hits, and drove 800+ miles to North Carolina. Because I had friends there, and, well... truthfully, that was as far I as I could travel with the cash I had in my wallet.
It was probably one of the dumbest things I've ever done -- I was broke, I had zero plans or prospects, and I had never driven more than two hours by myself before. It was also the best decision I ever made in my life.
After a few months of odd jobs, more crying, and putting my life back together, I was able to move home to Northern Virginia, and I met Patrick the love of my life.
Now that I'm comfortably in my mid- to late-30s, I long for those impulsive days in my 20s, where I would take chances in the face of great risks. Don't get me wrong, I'm exceedingly happy.
But I'm also very set in my ways. The smallest change will stress me out for no good reason. And if that change involves the technologies and platforms I use each day, I'll act like the world is ending.
What does it say about me that I used to be able to roll with the changes and make massive, life-altering decisions in a split second, but now I consider every Facebook update or Google product change a personal attack?
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